Tuesday, July 8, 2014

My Personal History of Sanity based on contemplative psychology

My formal school education started in March 1992. The moment I entered the classroom, I experienced a great sense of joy and happiness. I was appointed class captain by my class teacher. I started learning with keen interest and put extra effort into my studies. All the teachers in the school recognized my hard works. I thought we were all born equal in the eyes of Nature and I could do what others can! But a twist of fate has shattered my dreams and happiness.

1. Repulsion

When I was in 2nd grade, my father became seriously ill and referred to Jigme Dorji Wangchuk National Referral Hospital in Thimphu in mid-summer 1993. My mother attended him in the hospital. We were left behind in the village and were helpless to him. He passed away in June of 1993 there and we couldn’t see his face again. The life in my family has changed unexpectedly.

2. Beyond Self

To be a teacher had been my childhood dream or ambition. But I feared that I might not be able to study henceforth and become a teacher. I didn’t want to suffer like my parents as a farmer.

3. Urge for Discipline

Since I am the second eldest child among five children in the family, I had to think a lot about the family matter. I had to go to my village from school every weekend to help my mother with the household and farming work. The month of June and July is usually a busy month for the farmer of our village as they have to plant paddy and cultivate other crops.

4. Doubt

I wished that my father was alive and everything would have been working fine. If my father was alive, I need not have to work hard as I need to. Lots of questions arose in my mind about whether to continue my studies or not. But my mother always insisted on studying and not worrying about her.

5. Compassion

My mother was just a simple housewife residing in my secluded village. I could not bear the pain when I saw my mother working day and night to raise her children. I was running through lots of difficulties, not knowing what to do. I helped her with some works that I could do the best.

6. Wakefulness

Had there been counsellors in those days, I would have sought help from them. But I credit my villagers who served counsellors to me. They, too, suggested me continue my studies. Then I decided that I would continue my studies and work hard to fulfil my dreams and my mother’s wishes.

7. Courage

I finally had to travel from my village to Sarpang to carry Cardamom for three consecutive winters. We had to walk seven full days to reach Sarpang. That was the only way I could earn my younger sister and me to buy uniforms and pay school fees.

8. Letting Go

I thank our mule, which my father had raised like his own child in my family. I had to take her to Sarpang to help me earn enough money. I, too, had to carry 30-35 kg of Cardamom to earn an additional amount. I never gave up though it was tough for me, which is why I am a teacher now. I was successful in fulfilling my childhood dreams. I credit my friend Lunten Jamo (mule), who made me a teacher. I am a happy man now.