Tuesday, July 8, 2014

My Personal History of Sanity based on contemplative psychology

My formal school education started in March 1992. The moment I entered the classroom I experienced a great sense of joy and happiness. I was appointed class captain by my class teacher. I started learning with keen interest and put extra effort in my studies. My hard works were recognized by all the teachers in the school. I thought, we were all born equal in the eyes of Nature and I could do what others can! But a twist of fate has shattered my dreams and happiness.

1.      Repulsion
When I was in 2nd grade my father became seriously ill and was referred to Jigme Dorji Wangchuk National Referral Hospital in Thimphu in mid of summer 1993. My mother attended him in the hospital. We were left behind in the village and were helpless to him. He passed away in June of 1993 there and we couldn’t see his face again. The life in my family has changed unexpectedly.

2.      Beyond Self
To be a teacher had been my childhood dreams or ambition. But I feared that I may not be able to study henceforth and become a teacher. I really didn’t want to suffer like my parents as farmer.

3.      Urge for Discipline
I being the second eldest child among five children in the family I had to think a lot about the family matter. I had to go to my village from school in every weekend to help my mother with the household and well as farming work. The month of June and July is usually a busy month for the famer of our village as they have to plant paddy and cultivate other crops.

4.      Doubt
I wished that my father was alive and everything would have been working fine.  If my father was alive, I need not have to work hard as I need to. Lots of questions arouse in my mind whether to continue my studies or not. But my mother always insisted to study and not to worry about her.

5.      Compassion
My mother was just a simple housewife residing in my secluded village. I could not bear the pain when I saw my mother working day and night to raise her children. I was running through lots of difficulties not knowing what to do. I helped her with some works that I could do the best.

6.      Wakefulness
Had there been counselors in those days I would have sought help from them. But I credit my villagers who served counselors to me. They too suggested me to continue my studies. Then I decided that I would continue my studies and work hard to fulfill my dreams and my mother’s wishes too.

7.      Courage
I finally had to travel all the way from my village to Sarpang to carry Cardamom for three consecutive winters. We had to walk seven full days to reach Sarpang. That was the only way I could earn for myself and for my younger sister to buy uniform and pay school fee.

8.      Letting Go
I thank our mule which my father had raised like his own child in my family. I had to take her to Sarpang to help me earn enough money. I too had to carry 30-35 kg of cardamom to earn additional amount. I never gave up though it was very hard for me and that is the reason why I am a teacher now. I was successful in fulfilling my childhood dreams. I credit my friend Lunten Jamo (mule) who made me a teacher.  I am a happy man now.